Today is a great milestone in my parents' life.. but it has remained only a milestone with little or no emotions and memories attached to it. I look back, a little hurt, a a little empty.
Today as I think back ot the occurings of the day, were not too special- in fact come to think of it, it was bad.. but here I am nevertheless., blogging my thoughts, voicing my feelings and channeling my energies.
Wait wait.. before you leave thinking this is yet another spot with ramblings unlimited, I will run my thoughts by you. The question is "was it the right thing to do..?" Am I acting in haste when I tell someone who is/was attracted to me that I am/was not.. and that for no apparent reason.
Instinctively, I know the answer.. I know I did the right thing for her and for me.. but someewhere deep in the dark alleys, a thought prevails. No else seems to see why I would say no to such a sweet and "universally" acceptable/ likable person. Young, haughty she maybe a little bit of both, but not in complete vain. She has her long list of merits.
Everyone, including my family thinks, I should hv gone for it..But I wait, but question myself..
Will I stand to regret the decision I made today tomorrow? Will I end up with someone who is nowhere close to the talents this girl is bestowed with and think back, "if only..."?
Maybe.. things may well, turn out to be that way, but gut says.. despite all lessons that I havelearned in school and in life to never go by gut, but to go by experience or even better to go with data.. I go by gut, to say I wont.
Time will stand testimony to my decisions and maybe someday I will return to this spot and go hmm.. wasn't I right!