..and the rest is history

I have to pen this down while the experience is still fresh in my memory and I can leave the masala out of the narration and stick only only only to pure facts (duh.. like I can ever do that!)

You must first read this mail.. the ah-so-moving version I sent to the airline asking to be duly compensated..

.......................................................................................................................................................................

I was scheduled to travel from ND to xyz Airport , with a connection at LH Airport. Scheduled for departure on 09 Jan 2010 at 0330hrs but with a delay in departure of 11 hrs..I staggered my way into the plane. My connection from LH was scheduled for 1505hrs on 09 Jan 2010 which I missed due to the delay in the first leg of the journey. Subsequently I was booked on AA departing LH on 10 Jan 2010 at about 1030hrs. This left me with a 16.5 hr break. Despite mentioning to the airline authorities at Delhi and London airports that I did not wish to stay back in London, I was given hotel accommodation and transport tickets at London and asked to proceed for a transit visa. I was given complete assurances by the said officials that there would be no issues and the process would be smooth and easy. Although I did not want it, this situation forced me to request entry to London.

At LHR, the immigration officials however denied me a transit visa and forced into Detention. The questioning and harassment meted out by the UK Border Agency was completely embarrassing. I was not given fresh food and made to spend the night sitting on chairs in a room locked from outside and held behind under close supervision with potentially illegal immigrants. It was as bad as being sentenced to jail imprisonment. My passport was confiscated to be stamped mentioning a denied entry to the country, and not handed back to me until I reached United States!

Worse still I was accompanied to my flight net morning by two immigration officers like almost like I was a petty criminal. I was taken to the airport in a caged van. To add to my woes, the looks I got from fellow passengers and other airport crew who saw me being escorted to the check-in counter, was of complete distrust, disgust and disrespect. In short this experience was completely in bad taste, filling me with anxiety, disgrace and humiliation.

.......................................................................................................................................................................

The rest of the message concluded with stating a sum I expected from this airline. Now that I've stated the facts I can give you the more gory details, like this wasn't sufficiently gory already.

I was quite happy I had received the hotel accommodation and had all plans of getting to see some part of LH and maybe even meet up with a friend who lives a couple of hours away, if only he would take the time to make it to meet with me. Being one of my closest buddies, he had already met me during my trip to KA and may not really be able to come all the way out to the airport at my whim.. but I was happy nevertheless.

I chanced upon a cute girl in the line - I had already overheard she was traveling on work and going to SWZ. She was going to stay at the same hotel I had been asked to stay at. Knowing that she was already married gave me a sense of relief.. I guess I let my shield down when I speak to the married women believing in my mind that all the talking we'll have will only be loose talk and nothing that will out me in a difficult circumstance will ever arise! I was in safe zone.. Great conversationalist and she even offered to wait up for me at the other side of the immigration clearance line.

Lugging my bags and clutching the packet of t-shirt and bathroom products I strode confidently to the immigration officer. What could go wrong.. I knew exactly where I was going to be, when I was leaving and had all the necessary documentation to go back home (.. yup, back where I am now)! Reaching the counter I saw cute-HR-chick sitting in bench.. she smiled at me from the distance indicating she was waiting for me. I smiled back and gave a subtle look of exasperation. How was this guy going to take writing down mundane details. I was ready to go into the freedom of the Q's land, even if only for a few hours. I smiled back at him with a countenance of confidence as he looked up at me verifying if my face really matched the one on my passport and smiled back as he put his head down again , continuing to write on the 4x3 card!

"No sweat" I reassured myself, just before he asked me if I had ever been refused a visa for this country. Casual as it seemed, I said yes indeed I had been when I applied for a tourist visa and had only received a decline letter screaming for want of more documentation around where I was going to live and who was the guy I indicated as my invitation to the country. Little had I known then that a formal invitation was required not just by me but also by the country. Well that mentioned 'i was ready for the immi off to just stamp my passport with a 24 hour entry permission and let me pass through.

My little world of words and thoughts came crashing on me when our man said in other words, sorry boss.. you said the wring password. No entry, be glad I'm not throwing you into the prison! The like-prison treatment, the food and everything else you already might hv read about in that letter above is totally true and that moment when I sat on a bench waiting for the immigration officer to return with my passport after an initial inquiry was the only moment I realized I might have made someone wait for me.. I stood up to see she was gone. With a sigh of relief for not subjecting the lady to any further wait, I stared in the direction of the door the immi officer had vanished into..uncertain of what my future beheld

Dil Bole Hadippa - A movie full of Dreams, that (predictably) come true

Watching a Hindi movie in St. Joseph, MI is nothing short of a miracle for me.. my first ever since I moved to this part of the world. Co-ordinated with a couple of friends before arrival to the movie hall so we could get seats together - whats in a movie if you dont have the right company with you to share a running commentary with or have the parallel conversations amid cold stares and "shhh" sounds from the people around you.

A,K and I had more company in the form of other Indian friends to add to the melee.

We picked seats close enough to the higher end of the hall to give us the balcony effect. By the time we settled in our chairs we had already missed the opening scene.

The minute I saw Rani Mukherjee, I cursed one of the Chopras under my breath ;-)

In the hot pink salwar kameez, swinging a cricket bad and mouthing off lines with a heavy "punjabbbi ucksent" she looked nothing like the plump 18 yr old damsel in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. The only ding in this new slim n trim avatar was the nose-ring she had on - but well, I guess it was required for the karector she plays. Veera is a cricket crazy sardarni who repeatedly announces she is a Left te Right handed batsmen who can not be bowled out by any munda around. Working and living in the gaanv's naatak company, she has friends who remind her to give up on the big dreams she sees with her "nanhi aankhein". She dreams of playing alongside the stalwarts of Indian cricket and prays to them as her demi-gods and along with wahe-guru ofcourse in very typical bollywood ishtyle..

Cut-to Wagah border: Dilip Tahil and Anupam Kher speak of their ever lsating friendship across the borders but remind us that all friendships aside, when it comes to cricket, India and Pakistan dont see each other eye to eye. Predictably they play a match and India loses to Pakistan with a fuming Rani announcing she'd have made the Pak team run for shelter if only she could..

A weird haired Shahid Kapoor a.k.a Rohan (where do they get these names?) is introduced as the key player of English County cricket. He wins matches and runs around like a Brazilian football player. His team huddles like a bollywood version version of an African tribal dance and always responds to him in chorus sync.

Surprise element in the form of Poonam Dhillon playing the pretty mom. Anupam Kher, dont be surprised, plays the dad who lives away alone in India. Kher sentimails Kapoor into coming to India and fulfilling his dream of winning the Aman Cup- giving him all leeway to form his own team.

If you've seen the trailers you know Rani Mukherjee comes dressed as a Sardar. To add some details, without giving away the ending, "Veer" plays cricket for the India team with Rohan and the movie has a happy ending. I wont divulge all details here and steal away the thunder..

High points in the movie include "jokey" conversations between the firangi munda Rohan and the bhains-lo girl Veera. Rani Mukherjee carries the movie with elan and great comic timing, with some support from the muscle-flexing guy in pink shirt n skinny jeans.

Overall rating? Worth the 2.5 hrs intermission-less presentation... Paisa, full vasool in one sitting.

If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull

After I landed in town, I took my niece, nephew and mom in my sister's SUV to go to Ruby Falls and the Chattanooga Incline rail at TN.

Knowing our mom and her kids just a little too well, my sister had in her casual but sarcastic tone piped in I was with "awesome" company - right before we had stepped out!

From the minute we got out, my nephew was cranky, my niece was fighting with her brother and my mom was pissed we were starting two hours too late and that we may not be able to cover all points she had thought we had planned for the visit! Like these conditions were not all bad by themselves.. guess how they all wanted to communicate their feelings to me.. They wanted to speak to me all at the same time and all with breath-taking high intensity and fervor.

After a couple of hours of what I should not be calling my mom's cribbing came to a stop, we made it to our destination. My nephew thankfully had slept through the last leg of the drive and woke up after we reached Lookout Mountains containing Ruby Falls.

My nephew woke up.. well, as you may guess, cranky! He wanted to go home rightaway. I had managed to keep my niece engrossed with a story telling challenge (which I have to narrate as another blog entry!) Seeing a cranky sibling up and about, my niece easily distracted herself into fighting with him..

After the few hours of constant frying, my brains were ready to burst out of the seams and I wanted to run downhill screaming..even jump, but I managed to contain myself and keep my humor alive. A vain joke or two later, I got back to ground zero.

SO what do kids really want? I'm baffled! For that matter I'm baffled with what grown ups want as well.

Once we got on the inclined train and then made it into the mysterious caves of Ruby falls everyone was (blessfully) distracted to their surroundings. The sights and sounds of Ruby falls were an audio-visual treat.

I did not get to wield my photographic talent as much as I would've otherwise, but I was happy we went to this place and everyone getting into the car was a seemingly more happy person (including whiny me).

Knowing that some friend of my niece was going to be home by the time we would reach home excited my niece, my mom was glad she was going to have a few more mamis to speak to once home.. my nephew did not thnk either of those ideas were too appealing. He chose to switch back to his "I wanna go home" mode but one nag-ma is definitely more manageable than three..

Maybe, just maybe.. all's well that ends well. Some distracting games later, my nephew was in his right senses and I was a happier person driving back home! Isn't that the most important thing?

These are a few of my..

Raindrops on roses and Whiskers on kittens..inevitably reminds you of Julie Andrews. Sweet, melodious, mellifluous!

The tune kept ringing in my ears today as I took a walk down to the beach. Pitter patter of raindrops on my head n nose while the waves lashed at my feet, I sat on the rocks feeling all poetic and at ease.

With some of my favorite people in town, hanging out at the beach watching the sun set crimson at the horizon was never so much fun. When boredom runs after you to bite, meeting with friends n laughing over a joke or two makes such a lot of difference. I have always had lots of friends and always only a few of those friends I cherished being around with. Today I felt that long lost feeling of "cherishment" I say, for lack of a better picture that truly expresses my emoticon.

With the sweet sound of music ringing through my laptop I smile now as I wipe my wet head with the towel... These are a few of my favorite things!!

Where demons dare to tread..

As the dark veils set in, the light of anxiety shone in her eyes, some sparks flew and some reactions occurred - faster than the speed of light. She had given birth to something that mankind had never dreamt of, never believed in the ability of science to create and definitely nothing in this quantity..! Shrill beads of sweat trickled down many a forehead and a wave of joy engulfed the laboratory where the first antimatter was created. Science had created what was always believed to have been created by god in the pre-universe universe, the first speck of energy that heads the genealogy of everything that matters.

A few crimes, some theft and a story shrouded in the dark politics of the papacy- Angels and Demons walks one into the mystique of Roman and Vatican art. From Galileo to Newton- a heady mix of symbolism, science and religion form the crux of the movie. With astounding casting, the characters mouthing words with beguiling expressions stole every heartbeat the book had managed to tick. My mind kept racing back to the words I had heard as I read the book and the visions I had approbated to the streets, the corners and the priceless art. Much more than anyone would imagine, the movie kept the artist in me spell bound.

While I noticed a few dramatic variations to the narration, I could almost flip through the pages of the book and be just as mesmerized. There were a few minutes, a few scenes when you knew what to expect and the movie chugged along those exact same lines, appearing to fall through the cracks when it caught back up on the speed and raced along, keeping the audience at the nail biting edges of their seats. Nervous laughter, sighs of relief and laughs to the subtle humor – I heard them all in the movie hall as I nibbled away on my non-existent tub of popcorn through the two and half hours of excitement, give or take a few minutes.

Angels and Demons by Dan Brown is a highly recommended read and Angels and Demons by Ron Howard -starring Tom Hanks, Ewan McGregor and Ayelet Zurer- is a highly recommended watch.

Truly.. yet another decision

To be or to not to be.. the ultimate conundrum when the bug of life bit me.

Today is a great milestone in my parents' life.. but it has remained only a milestone with little or no emotions and memories attached to it. I look back, a little hurt, a a little empty.

Today as I think back ot the occurings of the day, were not too special- in fact come to think of it, it was bad.. but here I am nevertheless., blogging my thoughts, voicing my feelings and channeling my energies. 

Wait wait.. before you leave thinking this is yet another spot with ramblings unlimited, I will run my thoughts by you. The question  is "was it the right thing to do..?" Am I acting in haste when I tell someone who is/was attracted to me that I am/was not.. and that for no apparent reason.

Instinctively, I know the answer.. I know I did the right thing for her and for me.. but someewhere deep in the dark alleys, a thought prevails. No else seems to see why I would say no to such a sweet and "universally" acceptable/ likable person. Young, haughty she maybe a little bit of both, but not in complete vain. She has her long list of merits.

Everyone, including my family thinks, I should hv gone for it..But I wait, but question myself..

Will I stand to regret the decision I made today tomorrow? Will I end up with someone who is nowhere close to the talents this girl is bestowed with and think back, "if only..."?

Maybe.. things may well, turn out to be that way, but gut says.. despite all lessons that I havelearned in school and in life to never go by gut, but to go by experience or even better to go with data.. I go by gut, to say I wont.

Time will stand testimony to my decisions and maybe someday I will return to this spot and go hmm.. wasn't I right!

Watch to know why

“We didn't start the fire
But when we are gone
Will it still burn on, and on, and on, and on...” – Billy Joel, the piano man

Tunes so oft heard, words so oft repeated but credits never duly paid.

Little did I know about the works of Billy Joel when I drove into the parking lot of the Lake Michigan College’s Mendel Art Center to attend the hit Broadway musical “Movin’ Out”. My friends seemed excited and I was amazed by their excitement but indifferent about attending the show- the experience I was to have still unbeknownst to me.

The musical tells the story of a generation of American youth growing up on Long Island during the 1960s and their experiences with life – through their dreams, hopes, friends, lovers, the Viet Nam war, drugs, violence, anxiety, anger and above all their music. Taking us through the lives of Brenda, Eddie, James, Judy and Tony with a super talented ensemble of their friends, the experience was worth every minute spent in that auditorium.

The usher mentioned there were going to be very few dialogues as we were entering the auditorium to take our balcony seats. I did not think much of it until after the play was done with. “Very few dialogues” was an overstatement – “Yes!” is the only word I clearly remember having heard from the dancer on stage. The will, the thrill, the determination, the joy and the excitement in that one word however lingers.

Unlike in my previous experience of a musical where the dancers sang their songs, Movin Out had none of its dancers singing. All the vocals were performed by 3 pianists and their accompanying band from a suspended platform above the stage where the dancers performed.

While the performances, by the band ‘upstairs’, of all-time favorites like Captain Jack, River of Dreams, Its Still Rock n Roll to me dazzled my aural receptors, the stage and the lighting sweetened my visual receptors, and the lead and supporting cast left me encumbered with thoughts of my two left feet. They engaged their bodies in what can only be termed as acts of sheer brilliance and years of strenuous practice.

As I left the hall speechless and in utter awe, I retired my thoughts to the words I half knew…

“Uptown girl…

She's been living in her uptown world

..

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl

She's been living in her white bread world

..

And now she's looking for a downtown man

That's what I am”

Whats a hazard? Smell it right here...

Car buyers can now search for a specific car or comparison shop between different models. Finally, consumers can make an informed decision!
The Ecology Center and HealthyCar.org tested the materials in hundreds of cars. They found that the "New Car Smell" is actually a toxic soup being release from plastics, foams and fabrics in our cars. Many of these chemicals, such as PVC, Phthalates, Brominated Flame Retardants, heavy metals, and many allergens, have been linked to dangerous health effects. These health hazards include birth defects, impaired learning, liver toxicity, allergies and cancer. (more)

Shrek: 'Good Model' For Exercise?!

Conflicting objectives: What are the fundamental objectives and what is the utility of such advertising to kids?
Because of the very high marketability of the characters from the movie, particularly Shrek and Donkey, all sorts of companies have lined up to use them in a cross-promotional effort to push their products.It was more than a bit unusual to read this FOX News story about another surprising product Shrek has been asked to represent--EXERCISE!
I can't help but think about how confusing this must be to little Johnny or Jane who sees their favorite movie characters eating junk foods like Happy Meals, Fruit Loops, or M&M's and then those same characters encouraging exercise.
"Shrek is a good model, especially for children who can benefit from more exercise," Deputy Assistant Secretary Penelope Royall responded. "He doesn't have a perfect physique, he's not a great athlete. We hope children will understand that being physically fit doesn't require being a great athlete."
Royall said Shrek is a "good model" for healthy activity and living. The character stuffs his mouth nonstop with all kinds of nasty stuff while his big ole belly and butt hang out like some kind of tumor. It's what makes Shrek the character funny, but most definitely NOT a role model for children when it comes to health.

Where do I live..?

Recently I came across an article that mentioned Bangalore (India) is sitting on a potentially seismic fault. [Click here] Indian Institute of Science made an announcement of this finding in some of the widely read newspapers of the town/nation. Can the government now claim in the event of a casualty, that citizens were given a warning a`priori? Have the people been given an opportunity to move out of this "perilous" location? Should safety questions be left to the “free market” or should government enforce rules to evacuate people in the citizens' best interests? Taking action is necessary but how soon is too soon?!

Utility of Second life for education?

The debate we should be having is about whether SL is able to serve any useful educational function.

And I have to say, having spent a little time in SL over the last few months, I'm somewhat skeptical. Not that I dislike SL, far from it. I'm just struggling to see how it will be used in the near future to support real learning activities in any meaningful, large-scale way.

• The technology required is too advanced (in hardware terms) for many users.
  
• The ability to dynamically embed external content too clunky.
  
• The technology too closed.
  
• Even the 1 to 1 and group communication / collaboration aspects of SL, the primary area where there does seem to be real potential, is labored by being chat only.

There is real potential in SL and similar environments but my skepticism about its educational usefulness is tempered by an acknowledgement that I don't have much imagination! The fact that I can't see how SL will be used in the context of learning probably just means that I'm not clever enough to think of how to do it.

Facts based decisions and Moneyball

In Fantasy Sports, It Helps Being a Rocket Scientist
By VINCENT M. MALLOZZI
One night last month, Clark Olson sat at his home computer and selected players in three different fantasy baseball drafts.

“It took about three hours,” said Olson, a 38-year-old Seattle Mariners fan. “It was time-consuming, but I actually managed to cook dinner during the second draft.”

Olson is one of the top fantasy sports players in the world. Last year, he nickel-and-dimed his way to the top of ESPN’s Über standings, which rank the online performance of everyone who plays fantasy games across multiple sports.

“Clark is a bit of a legend on our message boards,” said Matthew Berry, the senior director for fantasy leagues at ESPN. “When you consider that 15 million people play fantasy sports, what he has done as a fantasy gamer has been unreal.”

In a thinking-man’s universe where success and failure are mostly a reflection of time spent doing statistical analysis and research, Olson has a galactic edge. He is not only a knowledgeable sports fan, but also a rocket scientist.

Olson worked for five years at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif., where he helped develop techniques for Mars rovers and other applications in which information is extracted from digital images.

“The job required a lot of computational and algorithmic thinking,” said Olson, who lives with his wife, Rebecca, in Seattle. “That way of thinking and looking at numbers is a benefit when it comes to playing fantasy sports, which is heavily based on statistics.”

In recent years, nearly every would-be general manager in cyberspace has had trouble staying in Olson’s orbit. They have long since come to grips with a sobering reality: They cannot formulate lineups with the same kind of deft drafting, shrewd trading and waiver-wire finds made by a man whose former day job was out of this world.

“Clark is a very impressive, high-skilled player,” Berry said. “He is the Albert Pujols of fantasy sports, a player who consistently produces, a player who is money in the bank.”

Olson is an associate professor of computing and software systems at the University of Washington at Bothell. He graduated from the University of Washington at Seattle, where he also received a master’s degree in electrical engineering, and he earned a doctorate in computer science from the University of California.

He achieved his highest honors in fantasy land through years of studying statistical spreadsheets, newspaper and magazine articles, box scores and rosters. He finished third in the 2002 Über rankings, second in 2003, third in 2004, third again in 2005 and first last year.

Olson has been consistently in the top 10 this year, running 16 teams in ESPN leagues: seven in baseball, five in basketball and four in hockey. He is pondering a return to fantasy bass fishing.

“The key to most of these sports is knowing where to get good information to help determine which players might do well,” said Olson, who lists the 2005 signing of Milwaukee Brewers pitcher Derrick Turnbow as one of his greatest steals.

“Sure, I’m good at problem solving and using analytical skills. But like any other fantasy player, I need to be smart in other areas, like picking up free agents, studying current sports news and trends, paying attention to who’s hot and who’s not, and knowing the rules of each league that I belong to.”

In addition to his ESPN teams, Olson spends about 10 hours a week handling the budgets of fantasy teams in high-stakes events. He competes in the National Fantasy Baseball Championship, which is made up of 375 teams. The entry fee is $1,300 and the top prize is $100,000.

In the past three years, Olson has won two league titles in that event, collecting $5,000 for each. He and a partner also earned $5,000 for winning a league in the World Championship of Fantasy Football.

Serious fantasy players are always eager to team with Olson. In fact, he joined forces with the singer Meat Loaf in the 2004 World Championship of Fantasy Baseball.

“Meat Loaf is a huge fantasy sports fan,” Olson said. “We sat beside each other that year at the draft in Las Vegas. We finished third out of 15 teams in our league and won $1,000. But that didn’t even cover our entrance fee.”

Olson said that real-life general managers had made moves on paper that he would have never made online.

“I would not have brought José Vidro to Seattle to be our designated hitter because we could have better used that money,” he said. “We also traded Rafael Soriano, a great setup man, to Atlanta for Horacio Ramirez, a starting pitcher who is often injured, another move I definitely would not have made.

“And Gil Meche going from Seattle to Kansas City for $55 million, that really shocked me. To me, those numbers just didn’t seem to add up.”

An eye-opener: more than Monte Carlo!

In the real world, day in and day out, we analyze risk to make more informed, lucrative decisions. One major limitation of Excel is its inability to easily generate alternative outcomes, which can be used to quantify your probability of success and to mitigate your risks. Excel alone cannot help you to understand how variable or uncertain inputs will affect your forecasts. Tools like Crystal Ball that use Monte Carlo analysis as its basis, are used to create thousands of possible alternative outcomes for the underlying model in such uncertain situations. For example, if you are simulating a reservoir in the oil and energy industry, it is possible to generate 5000 scenarios that represent 5000 separate solutions. By analyzing the statistics of the simulation, it is possible to quantity potential oil reserves.

A better analysis means a better-informed decision.

So...what's the probability that you can benefit from Crystal Ball's simulation and analysis?

source:http://www.decisioneering.com/oilandgas/index.html

Maximizing score to make sense!

Determining the Best Combination of Word Senses

The early versions of the uK analyzer at this point simply tried all of the possible combinations of word senses. Each combination activates the applicable constraints, which are combined into a total score for the combination. The combination with the best total score is chosen as the basic Semantic Dependency Analysis, the core TMRs to which other microtheories (such as aspect and coreference) can be applied. In the example sentence, the following choices were made:

1. ``a-traves-de'' is INSTRUMENT, since its LOCATION meaning would require ``adquirir'' to be a PHYSICAL-OBJECT.
2. ``en'' is LOCATION, since its TEMPORAL meaning requires ``espana'' to be a TEMPORAL-OBJECT.
3. ``adquirir'' maps into ACQUIRE, since its LEARN sense requires ``Dr-Andrew'' to be INFORMATION.
4. ``Dr-Andrew'' is an ORGANIZATION, since its HUMAN meaning cannot be the THEME of an ACQUIRE concept.
5. uK currently has trouble choosing between the CORPORATION and SOCIAL-EVENT meaning of ``compania,'' the object of the ``a-traves-de'' PP. Both can have locations in Spain, and both can be INSTRUMENTS of EVENTs. At this point, uK needs to add information into the ontology that ORGANIZATIONS can typically fill the INSTRUMENT slot of ACQUIRE acts, but SOCIAL-EVENTS cannot. Statistical information could also be consulted to tell us that in this business context the CORPORATION meaning is more likely.

source: New Mexico State University Research project

This I believe

Career decisions are largely driven by_____. Perplexing?
In every one of our lives, comes a day when we are faced with the challenge of choosing a career path. For some its passion, for others, its pure belief! Ultimately, what are we looking for? What is the objective function? Do means that appear crystal clear at one point of time, remain unfogged? Read this essay from the 1950s to know more.. This I Believe

Contributor: Julia Adams Location: Little Rock, AR Country: United States of America Series: 1950s

From the time I can remember, I have wanted to be an actress. No one in my entire family had ever had artistic yearnings, so they looked upon my girlish dreams as a rather silly and impractical phase, which I would surely outgrow and then settle down in Arkansas like my more sensible cousins. But the dreams were still there when I reached the age of twenty, and I came to a rather shaky decision that I had to try it. In the five years since that day, I’ve come to realize that whatever part of myself forced me to strike out rather haphazardly for Hollywood is the only real wisdom I possess. That part of me seemed to know that no matter how difficult achieving my goal might be, or even if I never achieved it, I would be happier striving toward my dream than if I tried to find security in a life I was unsuited for. This knowledge and quiet surety came from within me, and yet seemed to have its source far beyond comprehension of my wavering and indecisive personality. It alone kept me from quitting during that first year in which I discovered how right my family was in warning of the difficulties in store for me with no financial backing. I found expensive dramatic lessons and living costs left almost nothing from my check as a secretary, with the very necessary clothes for studio interviews. But of course what really made me feel like catching the next bus for Arkansas was that in all the offices I managed to invade, not one casting man had looked at me with sudden interest and exclaimed, “That girl has something.” My lovely air castles were quickly shattered, and I was forced to listen to the wiser, inner voice again. This time it had a new message: “Look at yourself honestly.” Well this seemed simple enough, but it turned out to be very unpleasant indeed. One honest glance told me that only by unglamorous hard work over quite a few years would this gangling, unsure Arkansas girl be transformed into my dream of a fine actress. After I recovered from the first shock of this discovery, to my surprise I began to feel stronger and more hopeful about the future. Since then I’ve found this inner voice always spoke the truth or made me try to find it for myself. Of course, I wandered away from it at times or rebelled when it said “no” to something I wanted very much at that moment. But these excursions away from my wiser self led only to confusion and unhappiness. Strangely enough, now that I’ve climbed a couple of rungs of the long ladder up, sometimes I find it harder to listen to the inner voice than when I was alone and struggling. It’s a very quiet voice and is easily drowned out by outside babble. But one word from it is worth a book of advice from the best intentioned friends. The voice seems very stern at times, as it makes me accept the responsibility for my failures and shortcomings, instead of excusing them or laying the blame elsewhere. But while it takes away petty egotism and silly pretensions, the voice whispers of things that send my thoughts and imagination soaring. It tells me no dream is impossible because faith in my inner self will guide me to its fulfillment. This belief in my inner self banishes fear and doubt and frees me to live and love and work to the fullest.

source: thisibelieve.org

Admissions to US colleges

The College Admissions Game

“The problem has not been lack of creativity in students but lack of creativity in the college admissions process.”Robert Sternberg, dean of arts and sciences at Tufts.
Click Quirky Essays a Window to Future Success?

source: NPR.org